


lost stars

by jurina



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Love Triangles, M/M, More Tags to be added as I go, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, i guess..... lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-06-23 10:51:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19699681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jurina/pseuds/jurina
Summary: in a world where people have their soulmates names on their bodies, san and wooyoung don’t have each other’s names. they fall in love anyway.





	1. just a boy caught up in dreams and fantasies

san knew from the moment he was old enough to understand it that everyone has a soulmate, whether it was romantic, sexual, platonic—whatever the case may be. 

san’s parents began telling him what would happen once he got older. his soulmate’s name would appear somewhere on his body, letting him know that he is meant to be with that person, and no one else. he was never told what would happen if he didn’t end up with a soulmate, fearing the worst to come. 

when the name “seonghwa” showed up near his heart, he panicked. seonghwa was a part of his friend group, consisting of eight boys, including himself. he was almost positive that his own name appeared in the exact same spot on his friend. he didn’t know what to do, but he knew who he should call to talk about it.

“hello?” wooyoung answers, obviously playing a video game as san could hear it in the background.

“hey. so, i got my soulmate mark today.”

“oh. well, who’s your soulmate?” 

“id rather tell you in person than over the phone. are you free to meet up?”

san started to get anxious, knowing wooyoung wouldn’t like the answer he’s going to be giving him. ever since they were younger, both of them had a special bond, one that couldn’t be broken. whenever they fought, they soon got over it and talked again like nothing happened. they were always there for each other no matter what.

until wooyoung confessed his feelings to him. he remembers this moment like it was yesterday. they were both watching the stars on top of the hill near his house, laying down on a blanket and admiring the night sky. little did san know that wooyoung was looking at him while he was too busy paying attention to all the stars.

“san, can i tell you something? you have to promise me that it won’t change anything between us, though.”

“of course you can tell me, woo. you’d think that since we’ve been best friends for this long that nothing could break us apart. i promise that i won’t leave you behind.”

“okay.” wooyoung pauses for a second, thinking if this is the right moment. he decides to be brave and do it anyway. “i like you, san. no.. i think i’m in love with you. i know the whole soulmate thing, but i don’t care about that. even if we aren’t soulmates, i still want to be with you. you’re my true soulmate, sani.”

san was expecting something else, something not serious as wooyoung tends to mess around. he turns to look at wooyoung, not thinking of what to say but instead just looking at his friend as if wooyoung wasn’t waiting for a reply.

wooyoung notices san’s expression. he can’t tell if it’s confusion, disgust, or happiness. he sits up, pulling his knees to his chest to wrap his arms around them, resting his head. 

“i shouldn’t have said anything. just forget it, san. let’s pretend this didn’t happen.”

he feels san wrap his arms around him from behind, resting his chin on wooyoung’s shoulder. 

“i’m in love with you too, wooyoung. i have been for a while, i just didn’t want to ruin anything. i guess we were both scared to say something. i was just shocked, that’s all. of course, i want to be with you, too.”

★★★

san knew wooyoung would meet him up at the usual spot they always met at, the hill where they both confessed their love for each other. it became a special place for them, their safe place. he sat down on the grass, waiting for his friend. despite telling each other about their feelings, they never made things official. rather it was due to the soulmate system or they were both dumb enough to not even think about asking. everyone assumes they’re dating anyway, so what was the point? the only ones that didn’t know were themselves.

“hey sani,” wooyoung yells, running towards him. “so, are you going to tell me who your lucky soulmate is?” he laughed, sitting right beside san. even though wooyoung is laughing, he knows deep down he wants his best friend’s soulmate to be him. 

“before i tell you, promise me something. no matter what i tell you, you’ll always be here.”

“you know the answer already, san,”

“say that you promise. i want to hear you say it, woo.”

“okay, okay. i promise i’ll stay with you, always. you know that.”

san breathes in and out, looking down at his hands, playing with his fingers. he didn’t have the courage to look wooyoung in the eyes and tell him they weren’t soulmates. he was a coward. 

“my soulmate mark showed up today on my chest, near my heart. i found out this morning when i woke up. i haven’t told anyone yet besides you, who i’m telling right now. i figured you should be the first to know after all.”

wooyoung moves his hand to grab san’s, interlocking their fingers and squeezing his hand a little. he wanted san to know that he’ll always be here without interrupting him. 

“my soulmate.. it’s,” san looks away, starting to get teary eyed. “it’s seonghwa, wooyoung. my soulmate is our friend seonghwa.” 

the next thing san knows, wooyoung lets go of san’s hand and he’s leaving. wooyoung is running away from his friend despite promising that he’d stick around. san is left there by himself as tears fall down, feeling pain in his chest, letting his head fall into his hands.


	2. reaching out for someone i can't see

san was left behind by his best friend, the one who promised he would always stay no matter what. he couldn’t help but sit there and cry. he didn’t have the guts to run after his friend. he wouldn’t dare blame wooyoung for being angry at the fact that he’s just not his soulmate. san knew it wasn’t his fault, it was fate who decided this for him, but he cared so much about wooyoung to be upset with him for his reaction.

once he was done crying to himself he thought calling hongjoong would be a good idea. he was practically the one who was always there for others in their times of need. san began dialing his number and waited for him to pick up.

“hey san, what’s up?” hongjoong answered.

“hey joong,” san replies, wiping his tears away with his free hand. “is it okay if i come over? i know it’s late, sorry.”

“of course it’s okay, san. is it okay if mingi is here? he decided to stay with me for the week.”

“yeah, that’s fine. i mean he was over first, right? so it would be rude of me to say no. i’ll be there in a few, thanks hongjoong.”

★★★

hongjoong’s house wasn’t too far from the wooyoung and san’s special spot. it only took a couple minutes and passing by a few streets until he got to his friend’s house. he couldn’t help but feel hopeless and afraid. he knew wooyoung would react that way, but didn’t expect the reaction that was given to him.

once he arrived, he knocked on the front door and waited for either mingi, hongjoong, or maybe both of them to answer the door. it took a couple more knocks until mingi answered the door for san, greeting him with his smile.

“san! come inside, we’re hanging out in the living room. sorry it took so long, by the way.”

san shrugs his shoulders and nods, walking inside towards the living room and sitting on the couch next to hongjoong. the tv is playing in the background as he looks down, playing with his hands, waiting for someone besides himself to say something.

hongjoong notices how distraught san seems and how unlikely it is that he’s not his usual perky, outgoing, and loud self. he decides to look at mingi who comes to sit on the other side of him, giving him a half smile. he wanted to help his friend anyway he can, but didn’t want to force it out of him.

“so, do you want to talk about what’s bothering you? if you don’t feel ready yet then it’s fine. we just want to make sure you’re comfortable and that we’re here for you whenever you’re ready.” hongjoong breaks the silence and puts his hand up to rest on san’s shoulder, still smiling even though san couldn’t see him. he gives his shoulder a soft squeeze before bringing it back down.

“i found out who my soulmate is,” san starts off, looking up at both of his friends. “it’s seonghwa and his name is near my heart. i told wooyoung about it before i told anyone else.”

both of them knew where this was heading. they thought maybe they had an argument, one where they would both realize how dumb it was and finally start talking again as if nothing ever happened. the three of them knew that wasn’t the case this time. 

“san, i know what you’re going to say next, but you know.. you don’t always have to end up with your soulmate, right?” mingi asks.

“what? then what’s the point of soulmates if you don’t end up with them?”

“listen, we haven’t really told everyone else, but yunho is my soulmate. although i’m dating hongjoong, i have yunho’s name on the right side of my shoulder.” mingi lifts his right sleeve up and shows san his soulmate mark. 

“okay wait,” san says in confusion, still looking at mingi’s soulmate mark and straight at hongjoong. “then how are you two together? i thought soulmates could only be involved romantically?”

hongjoong takes over this time, reaching out for mingi’s hand and intertwines their fingers together. “that’s what everyone says, but it’s not true. yunho is mingi’s soulmate, but only platonically. they’re literally joined at the hip because they’re basically meant to be as best friends. i also have mingi’s name as my soulmate mark. that’s why we’re together.”

this was too much for san to process as he began to question pretty much everything he’s ever be taught or known about how soulmates work. could wooyoung have his name as his soulmate mark? maybe san and seonghwa were meant to just be platonic soulmates? how could two people have the same mark if he’s been told that each person has one soulmate? he didn’t understand.

“so, what about yunho? was he never in love with you? what happens if two people have the same soulmate mark, but that person only falls in love with one of them while the other is left with unrequited love? it doesn’t seem fair. this doesn’t make any sense!” 

hongjoong sighed, nodding his head. it didn’t make sense and he actually hated the soulmate process even if it lead him to mingi. it wasn’t fair that some people are left with an empty spot in their heart, yearning for their soulmate to love them back instead of another person. 

“i know it doesn’t make sense, but it’s true, okay? we aren’t lying to you so you can feel better. yunho never had any romantic feelings towards me and i never had any for him. we were best friends before we got our marks, anyway.”

“ a person is able to have as many soulmates as they can, but usually it’s two. they can have a platonic relationship with one and a romantic with the other. they could all even end up together as a couple. it really depends on the person, but not everyone is lucky. that’s just how it works and believe me, i know it’s unfair.”

san just sits there while trying to process everything his friends had just told him. he couldn’t do anything but hope that there was a chance wooyoung was his real soulmate. he knew his heart truly belonged to his best friend’s ever since they met. he couldn’t imagine feeling this way towards anyone else but wooyoung. he could only wish that the universe was wrong and it was fate that brought his heart back home to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update.... work has been stressful and perhaps minercaft takes up too much of my time lol.. thanks again for reading!! pls lmk what you think hehe  
> here's my [curiouscat](http://curiouscat.me.boyfiend)  
> <3


	3. i'd be damned cupid's demanding back his arrow

the next day, san decided he had to meet up with seonghwa before he fixed things with wooyoung. seonghwa was his soulmate, who the earth paired him up with. he knew wooyoung was his true love, but he could only imagine how his other friend felt. did he receive his mark as well? did seonghwa also have his name or someone else’s? a lot of questions filled san’s mind as he hoped to have them answered soon.

it was only fair if san talked things out with seonghwa, too. he’s explained the situation to almost everyone except his soulmate. he was too scared to face his friend, explaining that they were meant to be but wooyoung was the one he wanted to have a romantic relationship with.

he couldn’t help but feel sorry towards seonghwa. he knew how kind hearted and caring he was. seonghwa deserved more, so much more and san didn’t know if he could give that to him. could he forget wooyoung, his first love, to fulfill destiny’s wish and be with seonghwa?

san picked up his phone, sending a text to hwa letting him know that they needed to meet somewhere to talk. he must’ve made it sound serious since seonghwa replied quickly, agreeing with the latter. they both decided to meet at the park near seonghwa’s apartment.

★★★

san arrived a little earlier than he intended. maybe it was due to how nervous he was, picking at the skin around his fingers that he knew was a bad habit and could be seen as disgusting to others, but he didn’t care too much. everyone has different ways to deal with their anxiety.

a few minutes had passed before seonghwa arrived. he noticed san sitting on the bench near the playground right away. he walked towards him, giving him a half smile. 

“hey, long time no see.” seonghwa says, looking at san and resting his arm on top of the chair. 

san laughs, giving his friend an eye roll and playfully hitting his arm. “we literally saw each other last week, hwa.” 

“i know, i know! still though, a few days is a long time, isn’t it? to me it is, at least.” 

“whatever you say hwa,” san sighs, suddenly feeling a heavy weight on his chest. he had to bring the topic up now or else he would keep holding off. “so, the thing we need to talk about.. it’s pretty serious, i think. i mean, it is serious, yeah.”

seonghwa nods, keeping his eyes on the other boy. san hates how much his friend is paying attention to him as if there’s nothing else in the world but him. he coughs, moving his head down and hands into his lap. he didn’t have the courage to look seonghwa in the eyes right now.

“i wanted to talk about my soulmate mark. it appeared two days ago, near my chest. i found out who my soulmate is.”

“sannie, that’s good, isn’t it? are you gonna tell me who’s name you got? if you’re comfortable with it, that is!”

san’s eyes began to become filled with tears, trying not to let any of them fall. how could he cry in front of seonghwa when he didn’t have the right to? he’s the one who’s going to break his friend’s heart.

“um yeah, my soulmate,” san starts to bounce his leg, bringing one of his hands to pat away any unwanted tears away from his cheek. “my soulmate is you, seonghwa. your name is on my chest and i’m sorry.”

it feels like they’ve been sitting in silence ever since san said the last sentence. he didn’t know what to say and nether did seonghwa, but someone had to say something. san didn’t want to be the one who did so. 

seonghwa sniffles a little, bringing one of his hands to push his hair back and out of his face. he stops looking at san just to look towards the sky, how the clouds started to turn grey as if it was going to rain any minute now. 

“i have your name too, san. i wanted to tell you when i found out, but i thought about you how might’ve been affected by it. i think all of us know how much you love wooyoung. if anything, i should be sorry, shouldn’t i? you got me as your soulmate instead of the person you actually love.”

san finally let his tears fall right after seonghwa finished. he didn’t want to hurt him yet ended up doing so anyway. it was his fault and he hates himself for it. 

“that’s not true, don’t say that,” san says through sobs, clutching his pants. “you don’t know how i feel, so you shouldn’t say any of that!”

seonghwa is laughing. he’s laughing and san is crying. he’s not laughing at san, but his words instead. san is lying and seonghwa can tell. 

“no, san. it is true and you know it! you wanted wooyoung to be your soulmate and now you’re feeling sorry for me because i know you don’t love me!” seonghwa’s yelling at this point and san just stares at him with wet eyelashes and dry tears staining his cheeks. san has a mixture of hurt and disbelief on his face right now. 

seonghwa stands up, putting his hands in his pockets and turning his back against san. 

“san, i don’t need you to feel sympathetic towards me. you didn’t know i was in love with you since i never acted on it. i knew you wanted wooyoung and not me. don’t feel forced to love me just because i love you. i would rather you be happy than be with me knowing you don't want to.” 

he walks away, leaving san behind as the rain begins to pour down. san is left yet again left alone by himself. he somehow managed to make his best friend and soulmate hate him. san is grateful yunho’s apartment isn’t that far from here and gets up to start walking, stopping for a second as he sees wooyoung not too far in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes im projecting NO i do not care.... let me live  
> thanks for reading!! sorry it took me a week to update.. brain be like *stops working*  
> let me know what you think! i'll try to update as soon as i can!
> 
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/boyfiend)


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